Random Conjectures

"Act locally; bitch globally."


T’was Brexit, and the slimy coves
did troll and google on the ‘net.
All WTF were the frontal lobes
‘Til we’d as soon forget

‘Beware the Donald Trump, my son:
The tweets that bite, the memes that catch.
Beware the JebJeb Bush and shun
The Benedict Cumberbatch.’

He took his Blackberry in hand.
Long time the orange foe he sought.
Then linked up he to the CNN feed
And labored at his thought.

And as in upload mode he stood
The Donald Trump, with eyes of flame
Came barging through the neighborhood
And MILO’d as he came!

One-two! One-two! And through and through
The Blackberry went shatter-crack!
The lede fell flat, and on his prat
He went a-tumbling back!

‘And hast thou muffed it one more time?
Get out of here!’ the editor said.
‘Our ratings fall! O, woe to all!
We might as well be dead!’

T’was Brexit, and the slimy coves
did troll and google on the ‘net.
All WTF were the frontal lobes
‘Til we’d as soon forget.


Some musings of a morning

Rumors of my demise being just a tad exaggerated, I suppose that I will have to toddle along. And, while I can not yet undertake the studies that I would like, I still seem to have made some progress.

It used to be that I loved reading in bed in the morning during summer vacation, when I was a boy. I have rediscovered that pleasure, and I am getting reacquainted with some old friends: H.G. Wells, H.P. Lovecraft, Jules Verne, and John Bellairs, among many others. If I can manage to excavate my old copies of Lord of the Rings,  that is next on my list. But I still have enough in the way of books that have not been packed away to keep me occupied. Read the rest of this entry »

One step forward, four steps back

Well, here I am of a Saturday afternoon, stuck in bed. Much of the day has been spent sleeping, and what little time I’ve spent up has been involved in attending to either end of my alimentary canal, in the kitchen or the loo. If I had the strength, I’d probably be bored. But now, I’m spending what little strength I have on the adventure of trying to recover my former strength. That’s one step back. Read the rest of this entry »

Combating Stupidities


Having suffered from a certain amount of stupidity in my life, both that of my own doing, as well as that which I have suffered at the hands of other people, I have decided that it is time to try something new: to study the basic laws of stupidity, and to arrange my life so as to minimize my own stupidity, and the effects of others’ stupidity upon me.

To that end, I have looked into a little essay by the late Professor and Doctor Carlo M. Cipollo, entitled ‘The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity‘. Read the rest of this entry »

Another rant

Through the kindness of Fr. Ivan Moody, who posted the above YouTube clip on Facebook this afternoon, I have been listening to and greatly enjoying the above album from Harmonia Mundi. Not only does it have the whole Missa Viri Galilaei of Palestrina, but also the chant propers of the Feast of the Ascension of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The album closes with a motet by Palestrina based on the chant Introit of the Feast, ‘Viri Galilaei’.

I suppose that I should be happy with this, and the fact that this evening I shall be helping to sing and to serve the Feast today, according to the Byzantine use of the Russian Orthodox service.

But I am saddened to consider that for most of my sixty-four years, and quite likely for the remainder of my life, most of us, myself included, have been and will continue to be deprived of the liturgical and spiritual treasures of the West. Read the rest of this entry »

Aftermath; and some progress

It has now been three weeks since I had my little ‘incident’ requiring emergency admission into the local hospital and a colonoscopy. The good news is that I do not appear to have colo-rectal cancer. The bad news… Read the rest of this entry »

Last Week

the invalid

The Invalid wakes up in terror
To feel his toes becoming numb,
The doctor’s made another error--
What unknown symptoms are to come?

From The Fatal Lozenge, by Edward Gorey

The whole wretched mess began last Thursday, at about 12:30 noon, when I had a sudden need to go to the bathroom. When I wiped, I found that the toilet tissue was soaked in bright red blood.  “That’s odd,” I thought to myself: “That hasn’t happened before.”

At 2 p.m., I had a sudden need to go again to the bathroom, but this time, it was the toilet bowl which was filled with bright red blood. Read the rest of this entry »

Progress Report

Well, since a nephew of mine has solemnly informed me that no one reads this wretched little weblog, and since I have also noted that I haven’t written anything in said wretched little weblog for several months, I might as well write something. As Tom Lehrer once said, “Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” And so with Random Conjectures. Read the rest of this entry »

On Great and Holy Lent


Well, I suppose that I am suffering from blogospheric peer group pressure, as it seems that just about everyone Catholic is talking about fasting, and what they are ‘giving up’ for Lent. Today also seems to be the Feast of St. Patrick, so loads of people are talking about dispensations from the Friday fast so that they can have their corned beef and cabbage. Looks like we have opportunities for cognitive dissonance galore here. Read the rest of this entry »

More Maudlin Maunderings

Well, the house blessing has come and gone. The duck cassoulet was the hit of the party, The dessert cheesecake went quite well with the champagne and the port, and a good time was had by all. I wish that I could have invited more, including the six or seven readers here. ‘Had we but world enough, and time…’ Read the rest of this entry »