To the tune of “Nicaea”

by Bernard Brandt

Coffee, coffee, coffee:Early in the morning.
Pouring out the oily brew Into the chipped cup.
Any brand will do, now: Maxwell House or Mocha,
Fresh or reheated. Pour it and drink up!

Coffee, coffee, coffee, Though you are unhealthy,
Though the hearts of mortal men are quickened by caffeine.
Even though we know you, We can’t do without you,
And if we try to We can get quite mean!

Coffee, coffee, coffee, Bane of Turk and yuppie,
Whether brewed in a tin can or sold fresh by the cup;
Coffee, coffee, coffee,Still do we adore thee,
So, stop this singing And say ‘bottoms up!’

A hymn for the post liturgical sacrament